"I was spoiled by
you...what you offer is so superior, you are so diligent, you quickly and
efficiently get people together...eHarmony is agonizingly convoluted...an
annoying dud". - Dave S. Vacaville, CA, Video Introductions member, Aug. 2008
Comparative dating results between
Video Introductions and
eHarmony
- Dave’s experience
Out of the first 200 women that eHarmony selected
for Dave on the basis of their
compatibility criteria, he was confined to making his choices from only those 200 women (approx.) they selected for him and
was not allowed to see or make his own
selections from their entire database. He
attempted to contact approximately 40 of these women. About half of these did
not respond back at all. Some of the rest did
not finish the tedious, drawn-out, question/answer
process via eHarmony controlled e-mails, normally required before direct e-mails
between two persons can be finally be
exchanged. He ended up meeting only 1 woman
- a woman who used an old photo and weighed about 30 pounds more than he was led
to expect.
In contrast, out of first
12 women that Dave selected at Video Introductions on the
basis of compatibility testing, videos, photo verification (with year photo
taken) and identity verification (with age verification) options,
where he had access to all of the members and
was allowed to make his own selections, he
received 9 positive responses and 1 negative response. Two
of the 12 women he selected were not ultimately counted as selections because
they did not respond within a reasonable time period and were inactivated from
the membership. As of Oct. 2008, Dave had met 7 of the 9 women who responded positively
and one of these
positive responses became an ongoing relationship for awhile. There was a decision not to
meet one of the two remaining women he had positive responses from after a few phone
conversations with her, and a meeting with the other woman had not yet taken place. Dave was also
selected by two female members and he met one of these women as well.
Video Introductions
average results are approximately 50% positive responses - in
other words, about 1 out of 2 persons a member selects, responds positively and
phone numbers and e-mail addresses are immediately exchanged. Dave had better than
average results with a 90% positive response rate, 9 of 10 responded positively
(of course, Dave had very good results and some members don't
do as well - nevertheless Video Introductions average positive response rate
is about 50%, 5 out of 10). At the time of this writing, Dave had met 7 out of 9
of the Video Introductions members who responded positively – a 78% positive
response meeting rate with Video Introductions.
At eHarmony, Dave’s
initial meeting results were 1 out of 200 women (˝ of 1%) that eHarmony
selected for him. To be fair in this comparison,
if you consider only the approximately 40 women that Dave reported he attempted
to contact out of the first 200 selected for him by eHarmony, his initial
meeting rate was 1 out of 40 (2.5%).
As of
Sept. 2008 Dave’s meeting rate with eHarmony increased to 1% of the
women they selected for him, (4
out of a total of now approximately 400 women eHarmony selected for him - and no second
dates) including
another disappointing meeting with yet another (very) overweight woman who also provided a
deceptive photo of herself.
By Oct. 2008, not only
had Dave met more women through Video Introductions but Dave's
overall meeting rate with Video Introductions of the 10 active women
he selected himself (7 of 10) was 70 times higher as compared to the 400 women (4 of
400) that eHarmony
matched him with (a
70% overall meeting rate with Video Introductions vs. a 1% overall meeting rate with eHarmony).
Based on a comparison of
Dave's attempts to meet just those members he tried to contact from among those
provided by each firm,
Dave's meeting rate was 70% at Video Introductions (he met 7 of the 10 active
women he tried to meet*)
*plus one of the two women who
selected him, making a total of 8 women he met through Video Introductions (and second or
additional dates with two of these women)
at the time of this writing.
Dave's meeting rate was 5%
(approximately) at eHarmony (he met 4 of the approximately 80* women he
tried to meet) out of approximately 400 matches provided by eHarmony.
*80 is
based on a projection of doubling the number of the initial 40 women
(approximately) he
attempted to contact out of the first 200 matches (approx.), to an estimated 80
women as of
September 2008 out of a total of estimated 400 matches at that time. He met a
total of 4 women through eHarmony (and no second or additional dates) at the time of
this writing.
Why Did We Use a
Comparison with eHarmony? eHarmony also offers compatibility testing.
In eHarmony's
compatibility testing process (first offered in 2000) similarity
appears to be an important factor. However, eHarmony uses this process as a basis of their matches and
restricts members choices as to who they may select from, limiting member selections
to only those eHarmony prescribed matches (an agency dictated, restricted
choice program). Moreover, similarity between two persons can be beneficial
or a harmful depending on the similarity variable in question. In other words,
similarity is not a true measure of compatibility and no test can measure
all the complexities of compatibility. Making members solely dependent upon
eHarmony's compatibility conclusions puts a member at risk of any questionable
or flawed thinking leading to these conclusions.
In contrast, Video Introductions actually invented compatibility testing for singles.
Video Introductions compatibility testing process
(first offered in 1992) is based on
compatibility which analyzes how well meet each person meets what each
person wants from the other person. We consider this to be a more accurate and
genuine measure of compatibility. Additionally, a wealth of detailed
relationship guidance information is shared with members including who the
member is most and least compatible with, compatibility percentage comparisons
and rankings, relationship happiness chart ratings, and other compatibility
information, allowing members to make their own choices (a member enabling, freedom
of choice
program) based upon all available information, including the video
interview, photos, verification information, etc. and the member's own
judgement.
Additionally, Video
Introductions offers personalized service with a professional office
as well as a web
site for member use, as opposed to an impersonal, internet-only operation.
Video
Introductions also offers personalized Singles Counseling with a Ph.D.
Psychologist and Licensed Marriage Therapist. Video Introductions attempts to
enlighten and enable singles.
Although both firms focus on
heterosexual dating, unlike eHarmony, Video Introductions does not
reject applicants for unknown or baffling reasons such as eHarmony's
uncaring rejection of applicants they deem to be "depressed" based only upon
a cursory, flawed, internet-only test assessment, without
a personal, professional diagnosis. Moreover, a firm which professes to help
singles (especially one that makes claims of psychological expertise) should
consider the emotional damage
inflicted on a
person reaching out for relationship help who may really be depressed, when they
are told they are unsuitable for eHarmony's program and left to wonder why
they're a relationship reject (what's wrong with me?), and abandoned to suffer
the consequences of this rejection without personal, professional support, follow-up or
treatment.
The other reason we used
this comparison is because after being both a Video Introductions member and an eHarmony member, Dave's frustration with
eHarmony led him to share his unhappiness with their program. This provided a factual and
experiential basis for comparison. His
experience
with both firms sheds light on how each firm attempts to service and do business
with
singles. We have tried to make a fair comparison based on Dave's experience. We are not
singling out eHarmony for undue criticism (they at least try to screen out married persons who are
allowed on some other sites), and we know there are numerous other firms in the industry
that are also problematic and have many of the same shortcomings, as well as
additional issues that are not even mentioned in our comparison (for example, 84% of personal ads on Craig's list were found to be imposters according to a recent study by Consenting Adults Network). However Dave's experience is
not unlike reports of others who have joined eHarmony.
Other Reasons for
Superior Results with Video Introductions
Unlike eHarmony, Video
Introductions offers in-person identity and age verification, year of
photo verification at our studio (or via a representative or a trusted source), a video interview, the ability to preview all of the available
members before joining, and the ability for a member to make their own
selections from all of the available members rather than being restricted to
seeing and choosing from only those members that eHarmony or another firm
selects for you.
Moreover at Video
Introductions, if a member is selected, regardless of the membership plan they're on (including the free Passive
plan), they have the right to respond back
without delay and immediately get the phone number and/or e-mail address of the person who chose
them without paying a fee (with exception of selecting members in some countries
outside the U.S.).
At eHarmony
and many other "free" dating sites a member must usually pay a membership fee
before they can get the phone number or e-mail address of another member.
Therefore if you are impressed by a dating site which claims to have millions of members
who are lured in by a free membership, or an offer to review compatible matches for free, or
a free communication weekend, etc., keep in mind
that only a fraction of these members can or will respond back to you, including
persons being portrayed as available, interested in you, or compatible with you, despite
the fact that they may not be available or may have even requested a cancellation of membership
or
asked not to be displayed as members.
To further promote good
results, Video Introductions follows up on member selections with attempts to
contact members who do not respond within a reasonable period of time,
inactivating those who fail to respond when they are selected, so that the
members being displayed do not include persons who are unresponsive, unavailable or
disinterested.
Also, Video Introductions
does not put members through a series of lengthy, time consuming, questions and
answers back and forth (by e-mail controlled by eHarmony) before phone numbers are exchanged, although we understand that eHarmony does offer a way to shortcut this process if both persons
agree. Although this procedure may provide more information about members, this set of eHarmony exercises stifles immediate, open communication
because some persons are not willing to endure the prolonged, time consuming
series of questions and answers sent back and forth between two members before
phone numbers can ordinarily be exchanged.
This eHarmony procedure also serves to burn up
membership time so that even if both persons attempt to comply with all of the
protracted e-mail exercise sessions, a membership may expire before completing
the exercises,
thus causing a renewal of membership and additional payment
before contacts can be re-established and phone numbers can be exchanged, not to
mention the numerous complaints by eHarmony members about unexpected or unauthorized
automatic renewal billing charges on their credit card.
And yes, like many others
who have received eHarmony's renewal surprise, Dave's initial 3 month
membership with eHarmony was automatically renewed and charged to his credit
card unexepectedly for another 3 months in August 2008,
when Dave was sure he had signed up for only a 3 month membership.
Your time, your energy, and
your emotions are valuable commodities in your search for relationship
fulfillment. Even though membership plans with selection privileges cost more at
Video Introductions than at eHarmony, you can waste your time, your energy and
your emotional resources by making the wrong decision about which kind of dating
service can best help you, or by making a decision based on price alone. And
keep in mind that time is not a renewable resource. Video Introductions also
provides a free Passive membership plan (however it is not usually as
effective as other membership plans). You also need to consider if your
membership fee will go to a firm which has your best interests in mind or
whether it will go to a firm which may use it to fund questionable marketing,
advertising and sales, rather than a valid, effective, caring program for members.
You also should consider the value of doing business with a small, conscientious firm
with an exemplary consumer record, where you receive personal service and are
treated with dignity and respect vs. a large, impersonal firm without personal
service which may be more interested in your money than your feelings. We hope this information will be of help
to you. We
also recommend that you read "Things
to Look For in a Singles Dating Service - a consumer guide"
© 1982
by Video Introductions founder Norman Mickey.
Consumer complaints against eHarmony
We encourage you to go to this website:
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/dating_services/eharmony.html. You may be
astounded at the alarming number of complaints recorded on this site alone (not
to mention numerous complaints elsewhere) about the callous and disturbing
nature of
eHarmony's practices, as well as similar complaints about other sites such as True.com, Match.com and others. Nevertheless, complaints against eHarmony have been so massive that in 2004, Online Dating Magazine reported they had received more complaints about eHarmony's customer service than complaints of all other online dating services combined (a subsequent 2007 article by Online Dating Magazine notes that True.com had replaced eHarmony for the top complaint distinction). Rather than summarize the various complaints for you, please go
to the above consumer affairs link and read them for yourself and form your own judgement - they are quite
revealing.
