Reversing The Attraction Process

by Norman Mickey

All that glitters and attracts... We are a society fixated on appearances. For most of us, appearance governs many of our preferences and choices. However the seductive lure of an attractively packaged item leads to disappointment when we find inside something different than the outside enticement led us to expect. Nevertheless many of us continue to make decisions about some very important things based largely on appearance and superficial perception. From judgments we make about voting for a political candidate to deciding the fate of a defendant on trial, appearance is too often a major factor in our decision.

The problem is compounded when something we want is scarce. The law of supply and demand increases competition for a prized object. Meanwhile items in greater supply are devalued, overlooked or taken for granted. In the dating world the prize for many is the physically desirable person - the gorgeous, shapely, young woman or the tall, handsome man with the appearance of success. Many of us are too busy focusing on the 10% who have the most desirable physical attributes to pay much attention to the 90% who don't. Of course catching a trophy wife or husband is very unlikely due to their short supply. Nevertheless, some persons focus exclusively on these relationship candidates, seemingly blind to their own shortcomings, and unwilling to consider the other possibilities available. Of course this scarcity, by its very definition, leaves some persons continually frustrated in their efforts.

Other persons approach this issue by attempting to improve their own appearance through makeovers, clothing, exercise, diet and even surgery, on the premise that having a beautiful face or displaying a fabulous body will bring relationship happiness. Of course for many persons, healthy physical self-improvement is a step in the right direction, especially since most Americans adults are now overweight. However, a person who relies only upon superficial physical attraction as a means to an end is less prone to develop or appreciate the inner qualities which make for lasting relationship happiness. Eventually age, injury or disease takes away much of our physical attractiveness and we must then value and depend on what is really important.

Do we give equal thought to how character, personality and values serve to attract and retain a relationship? Do these qualities draw people to you or drive them away? Which of you stops to think ... maybe I need to work on my character, reassess my values, or change certain attitudes or behavior as a means of becoming a more attractive and desirable person ... or are all your efforts focused on external concerns. Our role at Video Introductions is to help you understand that relationship happiness is often an inside job. We also want to increase your awareness of any self-limiting relationship prerequisites. Do persons with exacting standards for others ever pause to realize that their own rigid partner specification requirements is a self-imposed cause of a lack of "acceptable" relationship candidates? There are desirable exceptions to most preconceived notions about who is right for you, and many preconceived notions don't make much sense in the final analysis.

At Video Introductions we attempt to give you opportunities to approach relationships differently. One of the tools we provide is a compatibility testing process. Moreover, we have set up this process so that you may choose to approach the task of finding an appropriate partner from an entirely different perspective than you're accustomed to. We suggest that you first find who may be right for you from the standpoint of compatibility before attempting to judge what they look like. This will eliminate a lot of unproductive effort on your part. In other words, instead of the usual approach of spotting someone you're attracted to and then having to determine if there's compatibility, your compatibility questionnaire queries will reverse the process by first directing you to persons who you're likely to be compatible with and then allowing you to determine if you're visually attracted to them. This simple reversal of the order of the typical relationship approach can work wonders in finding yourself attracted to persons that you might have otherwise passed over. If you're on a membership plan with compatibility search privileges, we encourage you to use this practical shortcut to romance.

Remember, as we all have been taught
but must sometimes rediscover,
you can't judge a book ... it's cover!

Copyright © 1977-2017 Norman Mickey

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